Catching Up: Micah

My last post was emotionally exhausting and took place in the middle of the night. This makes for a very tired lady who might not be up to blogging again so soon. But my next planned post was supposed to be about my middle little guy, and I refuse to be "one of those moms" who neglects her poor middle child!

I only have faint memories of Micah's birth and infant months. Thank God I wrote things down and posted on Facebook during these months because the fatigue that comes with parenting a rambunctious toddler and nurturing a newborn baby puts a fog over my normally vivid recollections. Having said that, my love for this crazy kid is no less than my other two, and I'm sure that there will be ways that I make up for the memory loss at a later time.

Many people may not know that before he was Micah James, we had decided on the name Judah Michael for our second son. It was in the waiting room at the OB-GYN's office after our ultrasound where Jesse made it be known that he didn't feel the same assurance in the name Judah that he had previously felt with Josiah. So, we went back to our short list and changed the name, announcing it to our shocked friends and family members when we had our gender reveal party.

Initially, I wasn't thrilled to be having a second boy. I had dreams of tutus and bows and other girly things, and the uncertainty that I would ever have a third kid made the news of a 2nd boy a bit disappointing. But, God snapped me into reality really quickly, forever changing my attitude towards being a mom of all boys. This deserves a post all on its own, but the shortened version is that I quickly realized that if Josiah was hand-chosen, perfectly created by God just for us, why would Micah be any less?

When Micah arrived, he surprised me by being a pound and half smaller than his older brother was at birth. He also came out with hair, unlike Josiah who was bald for the longest time, AND his hair was dark, which I never expected. I remember just staring at him because I couldn't believe how opposite he was from Josiah.

And, they've been opposites everyday since.

I remember telling people that God gave me Micah because I couldn't have handled 2 Josiah's. I've since learned that neither boy is necessarily more difficult than the other. Instead, Micah just came at a time when Josiah was a toddler, which was a difficult age. Everyone thought Micah was just the sweetest little guy. The workers in the nursery used to light up whenever we arrived at church and fight over who got to snuggle with him first. And despite starting off small, Micah grew and grew into this chunky little monkey. This is one of my all-time favorite photos of Micah with his Michelin Man body. Seriously, who has rolls in their forearms?! The more Micah grows, the more he favors my side of the family rather than Jesse's, especially my brother David. In his medical stats, he comes up shorter and fatter than his brothers at the same ages, leading me to believe that he will likely always have a stockier build.

When I found out I was pregnant with Asher, Micah was just shy of 2 years old. I made the announcement to my MOPS group while sharing a bit of my testimony, and when I introduced Micah, I distinctly remember telling everyone that there wasn't much to say about him because he was just so perfect and sweet! I'm glad that these select memories still exist because they give me hope now, because...

   

 ...oh, how quickly things change! Did you know that there's something terrible that happens to every kid between the ages of 18 months and 4 years old? You may have heard of the "terrible 2's", but the truth is that it begins several months earlier. And the 3's are even worse, where these toddlers have recently been coined as "threenagers", derivative of the rebellion and attitude that swells up within these little monsters, only to return again in roughly 10-12 more years.

I expected this, although a part of me hoped my gentle, quiet baby would be some sort of toddler phenomenon.  What I did not expect is the way Micah's terrible 2's would manifest themselves so differently than Josiah's- just one more example of how different they are. Whereas, Josiah was my emotional and very dramatic child, melting down at the drop of a hat, Micah became defiant and rude. A parent would pass us in the hallway at Josiah's school and greet Micah, and he, in turn, would yell out, "You no say hi to me!" Whose kid is this?!

I'm still counting down the days until he turns 4, praying that it magically turns him back into the sweet kid he once was. And I see glimmers of his tender heart returning. It makes me wonder how his personality will develop as he matures past these painful years. Will the gentle, observant child return, or will he remain the strong-willed child, but, hopefully, with a little more tact? In his sweet moments, though, he's become a little more of a momma's boy, asking me if he can stay with me forever, or snuggling with me on the couch or in my bed saying, "I just want to be with you!".

This is a recent photo taken after he came downstairs way past bedtime, just asking to spend time with me. As soon as he sat down next to me, he was fast asleep. But, had I said no, I probably would've spent the next hour fighting him to stay in his room. I try to find a balance between exercising control and listening to my child's heart. I want him to know that I'm here for him. And, when it all boils down, I've already seen how quickly these years pass. It won't be too long before I'm begging him to stay with me a little longer. So, I'll treasure the moments I have... within reason ;-)

So, aside from his stinky "threenage" attitude, which challenges me immensely, there's so much more to my middle little that I want people to know! It's easy to disregard him when his older brother is so loving and his little brother is so cute and happy. His speech impediment makes him difficult to understand. His attitude makes him difficult to empathize with. But, he is no less my divinely-created child, as I stated before. I think that God uses him to simply teach me in a different way. It's easy to love the lovable, but Micah forces me to set aside my frustration and approach him with a tender heart. I never want him to feel less favored than his brothers, which can happen purely because of his birth-order. The differences between him and his brothers only further separates him, and it makes me work harder to embrace those unique qualities rather than brush him aside.

While some of this may stem from his age, what I see in Micah is our rough & tumble, all-boy boy. He runs everywhere and is loud and roars like a dinosaur fairly often. He wants to wrestle and fight, mimicking superheros, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, and wild animals. I look at Josiah and his tender heart and interests, and I imagine his future in theater, music, or non-contact sports like track or baseball. But, when I consider Micah's personality and favorite activities, I imagine that he will be a wrestler or football player- something with strength and power- and I can't wait to stand sidelines at his sporting event and cheer him on!

And, I see him transitioning from a toddler to a true preschooler. His baby fat is disappearing- long gone are the days of those chubby thighs and arm rolls. He's taller and and leaner, despite still being on the stocky-side.

He is asking me more questions, but then goes beyond the "why", further conversing with me when I give him a response. I catch a wittiness in him that I've never seen in Josiah, because, truth be told, so much still goes over Josiah's head! I see Micah observing the world, just as he always did in infancy, but he's beginning to inquire more about it and face it head-on. I'm so excited to see him enter preschool next month because I'm eagerly anticipating all he will learn and how it will shape him into the little boy he is becoming. And while I can't help but wish away these trying toddler years, I try to treasure the moments I see his kindness emerge. I try to celebrate his accomplishments, which only makes me smile bigger when he responds, "Thank you, mommy!" And I'm trying to embrace the unique ways that God made him just for me.